After a breakup most couples wind up second-guessing their resolve. They find themselves questioning their decision. Was that really worth breaking up over? What went wrong? If you have experienced a breakup, then you might be familiar with these questions.
The truth remains that, many times, breakups could have been avoided. When you’re hurt, it’s quite normal to make hasty, and often regrettable, decisions. In those moments you’re so beclouded by negative emotions, you forget all the reasons why you got together. Nostalgia, “what-ifs” and regrets are often the results of jumping into a hasty breakup.
All this said, there is hope for broken relationships, as long as both partners love each other and are willing to work hard at making things right. And there are many of reasons why it’s worth the try.
YOU ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER
You’re already comfortable with each other. This helps to deal with the issue of rejection. Consciously or unconsciously, we all have a deep-seated desire for acceptance. Whatever the reason for the breakup, the fact is that the act, in itself, is a form of rejection. In getting back together with your ex, you feel “accepted” again by someone who “rejected” you before. This sense of reacceptance and familiarity is comforting.
YOU NOW KNOW WHAT TO IMPROVE ON
Since you know the factors that were responsible for the breakup, you now know exactly what doesn’t work in your relationship. This makes it easier to avoid going down the same path and ultimately improves the relationship.
THERE IS COMFORT IN FAMILIARITY
You both know all the little things about each other. You can be completely relaxed together. Just make sure that your ex is aware that you won’t stand for the same mistakes you both made the first time. Being familiar and comfortable shouldn’t be an excuse for falling back into the same routine that split you up.
YOU CAN SKIP THE FORMALITIES
You can skip the awkward first dates and the entire “getting-to-know-each-other” phase altogether. There’s little need for small talk. You’re both clear on what you want. And you already know each other’s pasts, interests, life goals or families, among other things, all too well. Hence, you can focus your time on more weighty issues like commitment, plans for the future, and so on.
YOU HAVE BOTH GROWN
No matter the duration of your breakup, you have learnt immeasurably from the experience. The time apart has shaped you both. You’ve perhaps had time to work on yourself and become a better version of you. You’ve surely spent time reflecting on how your shortcomings ruined the relationship. Whichever way, you’re both undeniably that bit different since the breakup.
YOU STILL HAVE A SPECIAL CONNECTION
That attraction that you initially had for each other, that flame can be rekindled. The seeds of intimacy are still there – the experiences, the memories. You both understand each other in ways that nobody else could. Deep down you both know that there’s a way you feel when you’re with each other that can hardly be replaced.
If you’re still in love with your ex, you should really consider resolving your differences. Give that relationship another shot. If you’re both determined, you may find that it comes as easy as simply picking up where you left off.